A Run In With Reality
(Real quick before we get into this post, I wrote this on May 3rd and I'm not posting it until now. I wasn't going to but then I decided I should. So here it goes.)
Hey readers,
It's been a while, I've been gone off of this website and to be honest, I didn't think I would come back. Something in me thought that if I walked away from this part of my life then it would disappear forever. I was wrong, this morning I had a sudden urge to take out my laptop and start typing out my thoughts and try to explain myself.
I'm not even sure if I will publish this or just let it sit in my files with some of my other posts because I decided they were not good enough.
I think I do that with aspects in my own life as well, I find something not good enough and I give up on it. Myself for example, if I'm feeling worthless and not good enough I give up on trying to be the best version of myself. So I lock myself away, give in to the negative thoughts and let myself become the worst version of myself instead of striving to become better. I waste my time being sad thinking I am punishing the people who love me, but for what result? I'm pushing away the people that matter most and I'm wanting to know what people who don't like me, think of me. What does it matter of what they think of me, I'm already a mess of what I think of myself.
Then, I tend to overthink every little thing and stress myself out until I feel broken.
Instead of communicating with people what is wrong with our relationship I tell other people how unhappy I am with it. It gets back to the person I love through gossip and ruins and breaks up relationships that could've been easily fixed with a conversation full of understanding and respect between two people. Why can I not just communicate well of what is wrong? Maybe I'm scared, maybe I'm so focused on what others think that I forget to live in the moment and be self-aware of what is happening.
I'm always asking for advice on issues I have, one thing I heard this week was someone saying to give yourself advice pretending you are not in that situation. Put yourself in someone else's shoes and how would you give advice to them. You're probably thinking, doesn't she have it backward? No, I don't. It's different when we're talking about ourselves. This week has been a week of self-reflection for me, and I just wanted to share that with you about how I've been feeling.
Maybe this will help one of you who are struggling with depression like me.
Or maybe it won't help anyone, and that's okay. Because blogging is almost like therapy for me, it helps me realize things I've never thought of.
So if you got this far into the post, thank you. It genuinely means a lot to me.
Have an awesome week, keep self-reflecting and giving yourself advice ;).
-Bloggergirl
It's been a while, I've been gone off of this website and to be honest, I didn't think I would come back. Something in me thought that if I walked away from this part of my life then it would disappear forever. I was wrong, this morning I had a sudden urge to take out my laptop and start typing out my thoughts and try to explain myself.
I'm not even sure if I will publish this or just let it sit in my files with some of my other posts because I decided they were not good enough.
I think I do that with aspects in my own life as well, I find something not good enough and I give up on it. Myself for example, if I'm feeling worthless and not good enough I give up on trying to be the best version of myself. So I lock myself away, give in to the negative thoughts and let myself become the worst version of myself instead of striving to become better. I waste my time being sad thinking I am punishing the people who love me, but for what result? I'm pushing away the people that matter most and I'm wanting to know what people who don't like me, think of me. What does it matter of what they think of me, I'm already a mess of what I think of myself.
Then, I tend to overthink every little thing and stress myself out until I feel broken.
Instead of communicating with people what is wrong with our relationship I tell other people how unhappy I am with it. It gets back to the person I love through gossip and ruins and breaks up relationships that could've been easily fixed with a conversation full of understanding and respect between two people. Why can I not just communicate well of what is wrong? Maybe I'm scared, maybe I'm so focused on what others think that I forget to live in the moment and be self-aware of what is happening.
I'm always asking for advice on issues I have, one thing I heard this week was someone saying to give yourself advice pretending you are not in that situation. Put yourself in someone else's shoes and how would you give advice to them. You're probably thinking, doesn't she have it backward? No, I don't. It's different when we're talking about ourselves. This week has been a week of self-reflection for me, and I just wanted to share that with you about how I've been feeling.
Maybe this will help one of you who are struggling with depression like me.
Or maybe it won't help anyone, and that's okay. Because blogging is almost like therapy for me, it helps me realize things I've never thought of.
So if you got this far into the post, thank you. It genuinely means a lot to me.
Have an awesome week, keep self-reflecting and giving yourself advice ;).
-Bloggergirl
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